SHARE AND SHARE ALIKE

Earlier this year, when the press turned their attention to the young daughter of Paul McCartney and Heather Mills, the subject of “shared residence” emerged.  When children are involved in modern divorce proceedings, there is an increasingly popular compromise occurring called “shared residence” which allows children to live an agreed percentage of time with each parent.

Up until recently it has been accepted that shared residency is a measure focused on the interests of the children and to improve the quality of their lives after their parents separate. Recent case law suggests that this arrangement is now approved by the courts in a large proportion of cases.

Parent Problems, published by the Economic and Social Research Council, tracked 60 children through their parents divorces and found that where shared residence was arranged it was often to support ‘over needy’ parents rather than their children.

‘Having two homes is rather like putting your life in a couple of carrier bags every two weeks’ said one child in the research. Another said that she had to swap houses every two days, but felt ‘under pressure not to say anything’ about changing the situation for fear of upsetting her mum and dad. “If you are constantly moving…..you feel a bit lonely,’ said a 14 year old.  

Any arrangement can work but it needs to be managed with flexibility. Splitting childcare 50:50 in the name of “fairness” can become a tyranny to live under. Yet, the whole scenario generally arises in the midst of divorce when people are typically emotional, angry and guilty and this can take a couple of years to resolve.

Shared residence can work if the needs of the children are prioritised, there is flexibility over arrangements, and the children feel settled and truly at home in both households. Other positives to shared parenting – 2 holidays, 2 Christmases and no danger of a child wistfully turning the absent parent into a fantasy figure.

To view shared residency as the solution for all children within divorce would clearly be flawed and it will be interesting to see if it is a consideration taken by the courts in relation to the McCartney/Mills divorce and their child.

For more information on shared residency or any other matrimonial related matter, please contact Michele Fielding at Buckles Solicitors LLP on 01733 888847 or email at michele.fielding@buckles-law.co.uk