Putting things in the hands of a competent family lawyer not only takes the pressure off you but lets you step back from the fray and take stock. Traditionally it was thought that once the lawyers got involved then they were the only winners, with days in court and correspondingly high costs. But it need not be like that.
Most family lawyers are members of an organisation called Resolution (www.resolution.org.uk), formerly the Solicitors Family Law Association. Members sign up to a code of conduct emphasising a fair and conciliatory approach – which doesn’t mean we are not tough when we need to be. Choosing a Resolution member also means your lawyer should be competent in family law – membership is not open to lawyers who only do a few cases each year. Within Resolution are a further group who have been accredited as specialists by passing further exams – such lawyers really do know their stuff.
It is important to have proper legal advice because you get only one chance to get it right – and only rarely is it the case that you divide everything equally and go your separate ways, particularly where there are children. Pensions are also a potential hot potato in divorce and in a lot of cases are a major asset - one in which wives are eager to share and husbands keen to keep intact. Sharing of pensions has been possible on divorce for a number of years and is a major area in its own right, and not something which can be dealt with without proper advice.
For many people the thought of going to court is a terrifying prospect, and while very few cases are finalised by a judge imposing a settlement, a fair number of cases do end up in court but reach an agreed settlement during the process. If that sounds too daunting, then there is now the opportunity to resolve everything without going to court at all. This is through a new process called collaborative law, where the parties sign an agreement not to go to court and resolve issues though a series of meetings with their spouse and both lawyers. Experience has shown it is quicker and less stressful than the traditional court route. Further details are available at www.collabfamilylaw.org.uk, which also has a list of trained collaborative lawyers.
If you are thinking – I won’t get married, I’ll just live with him or her – beware. Nearly two thirds of people who live together think they have rights like married couples – not so. There are new moves afoot to give cohabitees more rights, but for now getting married may still be the best bet to avoid being left high and dry if it goes wrong.
For information on family legal matters please contact Lyn Brisley at Buckles Solicitors in Peterborough on 01733 888 841 or e-mail lyn.brisley@buckles-law.co.uk